Severe Weather Warning

See, in Cleveland when you see these words in the winter, they're usually accompanied by a roll of the eyes, a calculated indifference ("Oh well, it's winter in Cleveland"), and then an anxious check of the details anyhow, because you need to estimate how many additional hours it may take you to get home from work that night.

Here in the Grand Canyon State (which really should rightfully own the Sunshine State motto, but that's another story), a Severe Weather Warning actually indicates the following. Tell me folks, honestly, you're as nervous as I am, aren't you?

...AIR STAGNATION ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 5 PM MST THISAFTERNOON...THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN PHOENIX IS CONTINUING THE AIRSTAGNATION ADVISORY UNTIL 5 PM MST THIS AFTERNOON FOR THE VALLEYS OF SOUTH-CENTRAL ARIZONA...INCLUDING THE GREATER PHOENIX METROPOLITAN AREA. ASTABLE ATMOSPHERE...COMBINED WITH LIGHT WINDS IN THE LOWEST LEVELS OFTHE ATMOSPHERE WILL CONTINUE TO PRODUCE A STAGNANT AIRMASS OVER THEREGION TODAY. SLIGHTLY STRONGER LOW LEVEL WIND SPEEDS SHOULD LEAD TO BETTERATMOSPHERIC MIXING DURING THE DAY ON WEDNESDAY.

The forecast, BTW, calls for 5 straight days of sunshine. Better issue another weather advisory!

Yeah, I love it here.

FID

I got tagged today

...But not like that, dammit. Oh well.

Anyhow, LoLo tagged me. So, for the oh, 2 people that see this, you probably won't be surprised, but here are five weird things I do:

1) I will yell and scream and actually stare as I am passing by at drivers who fail to use their turn signals (or don't use their lights when it's raining, or who take a turn at like 0.5 MPH as if the car would tip over when taking a turn, or who get on an entrance ramp at like 25 and then suddenly speed up at the last possible second because THEN they realize that "Oh, it's a highway), even if they couldn't possibly have affected the lane I was driving in.

2) I start a blog with the intent of posting all my humorous (although admittedly weird) thoughts throughout the day, then virtually abandon it.

3) Sometimes if I can't sleep at night, I'll get up and do like 50 pushups in the dark. I don't know why, but I usually fall asleep about 3 minutes after I climb back into bed. Seems to work almost every time. If I every get married, I imagine this will be a tough one to explain to the wife.

4) I occasionally trim the old short and curlies before going out at night knowing GOOD AND GODDAMNED WELL that I will not hook up at a bar. But I always tell myself "Hey, you never know." Even though yes, I do know.

5) I get a receipt from the gas pump every time I "Pay at the pump!" because I don't want some f'n thief to try to overbill my card, but then the receipts just sit in my console for months until I clear them out. Only once in a blue moon do I ever bother to look a the receipt to make sure it cleared the bank the right way. So I'm just killin' trees.

There are lots of other weird things, but I'd probably have to post them on a different, shall we say, less family-friendly blog.

Anyhow, that's that!