Lightsabers, Star Wars, and Me

About 10 years ago (side note: it is truly insane that this was 10 years ago… I can’t believe it), I was dating this absolutely great girl. She shares a name with a famous 70s rock singer, who, coincidentally, now happens to be very popular among gay men, or so I understand. She looked absolutely nothing like the singer (thankfully), but definitely had her attitude, sarcastic style, etc etc. We're still close friends, and she still cracks me up.

But, as usual, I digress.

Let me back up a couple steps. For those that don’t know, I have, unfortunately, a pretty damn hairy chest. If I had the money, I’d have it all lasered off, but that shit is NOT cheap and it IS painful (yes, I know from experience, which is a post for another time). Anyhow, bottom line is, Chewbacca and I probably share some DNA somewhere along the line. I’ve finally learned to live with it, but for a long time, I was exceptionally insecure about it, and it actually probably contributed to my (oh, boy, confession time) late loss of virginity.

At one point while C and I were together, she was staying at her cousin Patty’s house. Patty was a big, beautiful woman. Well, actually, she wasn’t that beautiful, but she was certainly big and hilarious, and had an infectious laugh, and had boobs big enough that she could have shared them with like 3 women, seriously. And in Patty’s house, C and I did it in almost every room (or at least that’s how I like to remember it). It was definitely a good part of my life. And, surprise, again, I digress.

C had a son, K, about maybe 20 months old during this part of our relationship (no, not mine, for you inquiring, gossipy little bitches). And on one particularly awesome, beautiful summer day after work (C and I worked together), I was holding her son while we were getting ready to go outside. I only had on a t-shirt, typically hot, humid summer Cleveland day. It dropped down a little bit, showing off the oh-so-sexy chest hair, and K just grabs a fistful, looks up at me, then C, then Patty. He smiles really big, like he’s about to say something really declamatory and important, and says (are you ready for this?):














“DOGGIE!!!!”


Needless to say, all of us were laughing, them at me, me at myself out of sheer embarrassment. Alas, this has become quite a good memory over the years.

So, yeah, that didn’t do a whole lot to make me more secure about my chest, but you know, it’s pretty damn funny looking back.




To the whopping 3 or 4 people that actually read this shit, have a great weekend, and I'll see you all at Christmas.


Tonight’s post has been brought to you by Jessica Alba.